I wrote the following a while ago, but didn't post it at the time:
The last month has provided an endless stream of predictions about when Mum will die. Two to six months. Three weeks. October. This week.
I find these predictions upsetting. She shouldn't have to live that long. She should be allowed to die now.
Admittedly, she has chosen to hang onto life; help is available if she makes the decision to die. But it still hurts that she has has to endure suffering with no quality of life, even after the weeks of saying that she wants to go.
It is now further down the track and there is no chance of assisted suicide. There hasn't been any chance of that while she's been in the palliative care unit. The last glimmer of hope (planning for her to go home) vanished when she became too unwell to leave the hospice. Now most organs have shut down and her laboured breathing has the guttural sound of an animal. Only the strength of her heart (perhaps the only thing not riddled with cancer) seems to be keeping her alive at this point.
Dr McDonald (specialist here at the centre) has just said "the only saving grace is that she is probably completely oblivious to what is happening".
Humans are renowned for being cruel to other humans and to me, this is an example.