gemsling

I don't think I have the hang of this LiveJounrnal thing yet. I rarely seem inclined to post feelings and emotions for anyone to see. Though, most of the issue is that keeping a journal just doesn't seem to be a high priority for me. It rarely occurs to me to post something and just intending to post is not the same as doing.

I haven't even posted about Mum. With aggressive bowel cancer spreading through most of her body, she's not expected to last long.

I'm coping well, considering. I tend to cycle through a few thoughts/feelings:

• It's not fair and it's very sad to see her go. At least if she dies, she won't have all this suffering.
  
• Everything's fine. It's hard, but life goes on and we'll still remember her.
  
• I don't care enough. Mum's dying and suffering through terrible pain, so I must be a bad person, because it doesn't really bother me..