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Sunday morning, 3am...
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gemsling
I'm happy. It's almost 3:30am on Sunday morning and I'm the last one standing after the P Party at Pat's Place. Louise and Rose finally crashed at 3:15 and I've just done some tidying up of my stuff so I don't have to think about it later in the morning.

Though the party started at 7:30, we didn't leave Frankston 'til 7:40, so I got stressed. Theresa helped put stuff in the car and in a huff said "why do you feel you have to cater for everyone?" This got to me (though nothing was meant by it) and I later explained that I don't feel I have to; I feel I want to. For me, parties are infrequent events and they offer a chance to have a good time and form some memories, The parties I've most enjoyed in the past are the ones where I've put in some effort and played the host a bit. Theatre cast parties are memorable, but the same applies to other events; even just quiet drinks with Mum.

Perhaps it is a way of gaining some control over proceedings. I see that the current choice of music isn't working for people, so I put on something I think people may like, or that seems appropriate. The party picks up and I'm happy because I know the music that is playing.

Or, I'll take over the cooking of a barbecue, because even though I can't cook as well as I would like to, I can see that the other people involved have no idea what they are doing.

At the (first) final night cast party for The Taming Of The Shrew, Richard commented that I'm "the passive control freak". It seemed quite appropriate.

Perhaps that's why I tidy up a bit when people go to bed, or as a party is progressing. I like being able to stay on top of things and be ready for the next bit of entertaining. I also like being able to drink alcohol, but still stay in control.

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