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My kingdom for a functioning kitchen
You know you're new to this setting up home thing when...

First you think: "Aha! Picnic set knives and forks! I can use those until I replace my cutlery. So, now I can make omelette! Let me just wash them first."

But then: "Oh, I didn't realise I needed a plug."

Followed by: "Never mind – I can put soapy water in a bowl! Hmm, make that very soapy water; clearly I should have got a brand of dishwashing detergent that doesn't have a dodgy lid."

And finally: "Ah, fuck it – I forgot to get a gas torch, so I can't light the stove anyway."

So, now – having realised that I can't "just have a boiled egg instead", since that also requires flame – I'm sitting here not eating egg, and wishing that I smoked. At least then I could have a cigarette while I figure out how the hell I'm going to light the bloody stove...

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PS. I now have a plug that is to small for the kitchen sink and too big for the bathroom basin. Joy!

PPS. I now also have flame! Watch me burn!

Next up: a hearty dose of caustic cleaner, sugar soap, mould killer and elbow grease. I have not yet located this last one. Perhaps I need to order it over the interweb?

Cool.. a home to yourself! Where have you ended up living?

Carroll Crescent, Glen Iris. Sandwiched between the Monash and the railway line, in between Bourke Road and Tooronga Road.

Aside from the constant hum of traffic noise, the place seems eerily quiet. I don't know if that's because it's well soundproofed, or whether I'm just living amongst a mute community with people shaking their fists at me every time I turn on some music or have kids over...

Nice. That's just around the road from me. Also very conveinient for the train into the city or work. and the freeway is RIGHT THERE...

But if you smoked, you'd have matches or a lighter and could then light the gas burner ;)

Shh! Stop being so damned logical!

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