July 12th, 2010


My kingdom for a functioning kitchen

You know you're new to this setting up home thing when...

First you think: "Aha! Picnic set knives and forks! I can use those until I replace my cutlery. So, now I can make omelette! Let me just wash them first."

But then: "Oh, I didn't realise I needed a plug."

Followed by: "Never mind – I can put soapy water in a bowl! Hmm, make that very soapy water; clearly I should have got a brand of dishwashing detergent that doesn't have a dodgy lid."

And finally: "Ah, fuck it – I forgot to get a gas torch, so I can't light the stove anyway."

So, now – having realised that I can't "just have a boiled egg instead", since that also requires flame – I'm sitting here not eating egg, and wishing that I smoked. At least then I could have a cigarette while I figure out how the hell I'm going to light the bloody stove...

At least it's not flashing...

If I've listened to the message in full, it's not a new message any more, so turn off the red light on my phone already! Why do I have to delete the message just to clear the message indicator? I don't need a red light that tells me I have messages that I may or may not have listened to; I need a red light that tells me I have new messages.