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I seem to have had a few dreams about Mum recently. The common thread is that she is at about the same level of health that she had a couple of weeks before she went into palliative care.

I can't remember much of last night's dream... I was sitting in a hospital corridor or waiting area. Other people arrived. I gave a ten dollar note to Col (can't remember why). Someone indicated that Mum was in the west wing of the hospital. I headed there, which involved going outside and going into a portable. It was more like a school setting than a hospital.

The room was decorated with interesting tidbits. At the front, near the entrance, an Indian looking man with something like a turban on his head was playing an instrument. He was playing a particular Gipsy Kings song (no wonder Mum had attended this therapy session). It turned out he was just playing along to a backing tape. Actually, a normal recording from a live performance; there was faint applause at the end.

Patients seated in a circle with legs out straight were tapping and clapping along to the music. Mum was just to the right hand side of the Indian man. I went to her and broke down in tears. I think that was because she looked well, but was clearly on the path to death and it was now too late to help, as I perhaps could have done earlier (or so I felt in this dream).

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I have never lost a parent, but I lost my grandmother just after my 16th Birthday, over half my lifetime away. And I lost my grandfather about a year after that.

For the first few years the dreams I had about them were confusing and painful; now I still have the dreams, though less often, and I look forward to them. I always have trouble remembering what they were like, but when I dream of them the images are clear and vivid. It helps.

I don't know how this is really relevant, but I was reminded of my similar experiences.

Thank you. Yes, it's relevant and helpful. I think I will look forward to the dreams too, in time.

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