Jesara's a lateral thinker. Must come from Theresa.

Today's reader is "Bricks, Wood and Stones", about how these materials can be used to make houses. Afterwards, I asked what else can be used to make houses and we talked about things like paint, glass (windows) and wool (carpet).

"What else can you use to make houses, Jess?"

"Dot-to-dot".

The kids are colouring.

Josh: Do you think Daddy will like our drawings? [pause]
Josh: Mummy used to stay home.
Jess: She still does. [colouring resumes]

It has been really nice spending some more time with the kids when Theresa has been going to rehearsals. The mummyness seems to be lessening, slightly at least, but not to the point that they don't love seeing her return.

They keep wanting to hear the "strawberry song" - Wild Strawberries by PNAU - and I put on other songs for them to dance to. A few games of Uno. A little mediation of squabbles while they play together. And then a story and bed.

Life is not entirely sucky.

Josh: Now what colours should I use?

Josh has started kindergarten. Successfully. Theresa has written about it.

Jesara is enjoying school. Photos from her first day. She's in a combined Prep/Grade 1 class, which is good, because she's totally ready for learning to read.

She helped me count coins today, and when she found a 50 cent coin with a different design, I told her it was "Weary" Dunlop. Later she asked about him, so I explained about how he was known for his work in POW camps during the war. The astute Jesara then said "did they put him on a coin to remember him?" History lessons already. :-)

Another childhood milestone for Jesara: "when I grow up, I want to be a teacher". Heh.

Meanwhile, both siblings are still (mostly) enjoying each other's company, and have been playing a lot of "Baby School". One plays "Mr Kennards" and the other plays "Tiny Tim Tam Foo". It usually involves Mr Kennards sitting on a chair at the front of the class, and Tiny Tim Tam Foo crawling around and being the student. Until they start bickering, with "I thought I was going to be Tiny Tim Tam Foo" or some such. The role playing is not limited to teacher + student: I hear things like "you be the Mum and the Dad and the brother and the sister, and I'll be..." Cute.

Joshua. You could not find less of a naturist if you tried.

Always with the clothes. It's 34° in the house and we've just returned from swimming at an indoor pool (surprisingly uncrowded). After a bath, I left Josh with his clothes off. One minute, he lasted.

One minute, then he started up with the distressed whining. "Mummy, I want my clothes on!"

How are you supposed to toilet train a kid who refuses to have his nappy off for any length of time?

As the kids were being noisy and Jesara was climbing over Theresa's leg:

Me: Why do you kids have so much energy?
Jesara: Because we're nerds.... we're turds and we always bug Mummy.

At least she's honest...

I haven't heard those words for ever so long. The kids are playing hide and seek right now.

It started with Jesara very quickly counting to 20 before racing off to find Josh. Now he keeps coming back time after time after time to count. Either to 10 or to 20. Then it's "ready or not, here I come".

Eventually, I realised that he was not doing any hiding. It seems Jesara refuses to count and seek. I tried getting her to share the fun, but she'll none of it. Not that Josh seems to care. Once again he's quite happy to let her dictate how he should play.

He's not awake yet. Celebration details/photos to follow.

The main benefit of Deborah leaving home - her cat going with her - has evaporated. Turns out she's not allowed to have any animals not in cages. (At least she can take the guinea pigs, as she's only had them a few weeks.)

Butterfly looks nice and has a nice name. If I think of anything positive to add, I'll let you know... Though I didn't get around to posting it, here's what I wrote last week:

If I have to wake up to the meow of that pesky cat one more bloody time, I swear to God I will... do absolutely nothing. Sadly, it's not my place to take him to the top of a tall building, swing him around heartily by the tail and let go, shot-put style.

Just as Tiger Lily can't learn not to jump up on Theresa when she's at the computer, Butterfly can't learn that I'm just going to put him outside in the morning as soon as he meows for food and attention. I can't give in and feed him; besides, he'd meow again anyway. And I can't ignore him - he'd wake the kids.

There is one advantage to Deborah leaving: if she's not walking through the house to go to work early in the morning, he won't be able to sneak in when she opens the door. Obviously this only works if he happens to be outside in the first place.

Hey, at least bitching about her cat has taken my mind off Deborah leaving. I'm sure I'll adapt - we all will - but it's sad to see her go. At least I can join in the excitement of the move, as I'm not working tomorrow and have offered to help.

There's no such thing as perfect parenting, but if you were to ask me for advice, I'd tell you that parenting is all about being consistent and gradually letting go of your kids so that they gain independence and can grow. I'm not sure how well I'm going to go on the latter.

Deborah is soon to move out and go live with a few of her friends. This is a great opportunity for her and I understand her excitement. At the same, I can't help but miss her. (True, she hasn't gone yet; and for all I know I might be over it as soon as she's settled in!)

I love this family dearly, and while Deborah's not my child, she's an integral part of the family and I care about her. It's nice having her around and taking an interest in her life. Part of the reason for building the bungalow was to allow her to grow up and have her own space without having to move out first. So, I think the change is family dynamics is going to take a little getting used to. Hmm, I wonder how I'll be when my own two eventually leave home... Will I be a teary mess, or will I be over parenting by that stage, eager to see them head out into the big wide world?

I remember when I left Mum to live with Dad, and Mum didn't cope particularly well. I remember getting in trouble for leaving it more than a week between phone calls or visits. Poor Mum. And poor Tony, who had to deal with it. :-)

Now, I'm not saying I'll be like that; at least not with this move of Deborah's. I imagine I'll cope just fine, and will quite enjoy the opportunity to eat more lamb, pork and asparagus!

And as far as moving out of home goes, this is the way to do it: she'll be living with friends in the same suburb, not racing off to a distant uni residence or moving in with a boyfriend prematurely. And though she acknowledges that it may not last, she - like her friends - plans to come home once a week for dinner. So I should still be able to catch up with her a bit. In Theresa's case, it shouldn't be like losing a daughter, as they are good friends and likely to be in touch by phone a lot and meet during the day or go shopping, etc.

Epilogue

After writing the above, I spent a couple hours talking to Deborah when she returned from work after 11pm last night. Her excitement was infectious and I felt more inclined to wish her well than to lament her leaving. It's good to see her happy, and I'll be very pleased if - when the time comes - Jesara and Joshua leave home as similarly confident and happy young adults.

Oh, one more thing: even more of a change to family dynamics is the possibility that someone will move into the bungalow vacated by Deborah. Good? Scary? Hard to say. But interesting, certainly...

Is it wrong that I'm bribing Josh to eat his pizza by promising to go and buy him some more apples?