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Who the fuck is Sally?
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gemsling
Then Sally called back and asked how I felt,
And she said: "I know how to help -
Get over Alice".
She said: "Now Alice is gone,
But I'm still here,
You know I've been waiting
For twenty-four years..."

That's a bit presumptuous, isn't it? Yo, Sally (whoever the hell you are): he doesn't want you. He wants Alice. What makes you think you can be a drop-in replacement? Who are you? Mrs. Lovett?

Look, if he wanted you, he would have said something. Well, okay... he wouldn't have... But the point is, you're not the one he was pining over for 24 fucking years. And anyway, just being as much of a wimp as him does not mean the two of you are the perfect couple.


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Simon Preest's explanation (via Facebook):

Alice had a secret lesbian crush on Sally, but Sally wasn't interested due to her own crush on him.

So...
Alice looks elsewhere and finds a rich dyke that obviously has a limousine, and is whisked away for an eternal life of 'fish n' pie.'
... Read more
Now...
Back in the street, Sally calls back and knows how to make him get over Alice. She offers herself to him.

But...
What Sally doesn't know is that he is almost a 40 y.o. Virgin, who nearly 24 years ago tried it on with Alice in some local park, (they even carved their initials on a tree to mark the location) but it was such a bad "first time experience", he actually was the cause of Alice's change in sexual preference.

Then...
All went well, until Sally decided to introduce him to some friends of hers called Dick and Jane. He could see that Sally could run with Dick, and Jane can skip and one day Sally ran off with Dick and left him with Jane, and like all good lady-bird stories,

They Lived...
HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!

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